Welcome to the first entry of Crafting the Celestial Saga where I give you a behind-the-scenes look at the series. This first entry is all about the unfinished first draft. I am someone who hates spoilers so I would like to warn you that spoilers for Dawn of the Seekers follow in this entry. If you have not finished reading Dawn of the Seekers or plan on reading it in the future, you may want to avoid reading Crafting the Celestial Saga until you do.
I came up with the idea for the Celestial Saga during my senior year of high school. Later that year after graduation, I officially started writing Dawn of the Seekers on December 20, 2013. I had originally wanted to make the Celestial Saga into a video game and had written down story ideas and other gameplay elements on a piece of paper. Of course, me being me I didn’t think very much of it, and I gave it to my friend at the time who was a fellow gamer. I asked him if it sounded like something he would play. He took a couple of minutes to read over the concepts, looked up at me with wide eyes and said, “Yes!” From his expression and the enthusiasm he showed, I could tell I had the beginning of something special. It was a nearly ten-year journey while I worked on the story which included two major restarts. One such restart concerned the original first draft that was never finished.
- Section 1: Why the first draft went unfinished –
I had the idea that because this was a story about a war, it had to be dark and gritty. So that is exactly what I was writing it to be and what I was imagining when thinking about it. The problem was, I kept writing myself into holes because I found it to be too depressing. I was doing a good job of making it dark and gritty and thinking of it that way, but there was an element to the story that was missing, and I couldn’t quite place it.
One night after I had done a little bit of writing on the first draft, I decided that it was a good night to start a Star Wars marathon in chronological order. I absolutely adore Star Wars, and it was a huge inspiration for the Celestial Saga, but more on that later. That night I had gotten my popcorn together and sat down to watch the Phantom Menace. It was the first time I had watched the blu-rays from a recently released collector’s edition of the Star Wars Saga and I was amazed by how cool the menu looked. While the scenes were playing on the menu before hitting play, that’s when it dawned on me what I was missing in my series. Fun.
Star Wars tells the story of a galactic conflict, but it also has fun in telling that story. While certain entries are darker than others, you still have a fair amount of fun, light-hearted moments in those films and throughout the entire Star Wars Saga. While I thought about that, I realized that I was not writing the Celestial Saga true to myself. I needed to put my own sense of humor in the series, I needed to lighten things up a bit and I didn’t need it to be a long dark and gritty piece. Honestly, if I found it depressing enough to write at the time, I doubt people would have wanted to read it at all. I ended up scrapping the first draft on December 24, 2015, to begin again.
Now I’m not saying that the Celestial Saga is all sunshine and rainbows of course, because it isn’t. Much like Star Wars I wanted to blend the darker moments with fun moments, and I’d like to think it has turned out pretty well so far. At least according to the feedback I’ve gotten about Dawn of the Seekers it has. Some of the ideas I had for the beginning of the first draft have found their way into the beginning of the sequel to Dawn of the Seekers. While I thought the ideas were too dark to introduce a new series, I thought that they would fit perfectly into the start of a sequel. So, there’s a little hint on what to expect at the beginning of book two and I will revisit the first draft after book two releases.
- Section 2: Concerning lore -
Another issue that I found in the first draft was how best to handle lore. This was the first time I was venturing into a universe of my own creation and at the time I didn’t know how to best put those ideas to paper. In the first draft I found that I had a lot of mentions to alien species or events that took place, but I didn’t have any explanations. In the second draft or completed script as I call it, I found that at times I had this problem, but at other times I made it feel like a textbook. I didn’t want to give too much unnecessary information, and I also didn’t want to give too little. One thing that helped me was when I reminded myself that this is a series. I don’t have to give a huge lore dump at one time when I can give that information gradually when it becomes necessary or in a future entry to the series. In Dawn of the Seekers, I did include a lore centered chapter which will be visited a few entries from now.
For now, as I looked back over the first draft, the handling of lore was another reason that it did not work out.
- Section 3: The first draft had a prologue –
The first draft of Dawn of the Seekers had a prologue that was set in the year 2700 and the war with the Kaltari beginning in the year 2801. In this prologue, humanity had formed what was called the Celestial Alliance and encountered an alien species for the first time. The prologue also featured Captain William Devroe of the Washington.
In the finished book I felt that a prologue like this was unnecessary and included it in the lore centered chapter. First contact between humanity and an alien species occurs in the year 2203 and the war with the Kaltari begins in the year 2705. When I originally imagined the Celestial Saga, I was going to have the series take place in the 2200s or 2300s, however, I felt this was too close in relation to Star Trek. I wanted to keep the series somewhat realistic in how technology is advancing in real life so I ended up pushing the year the series takes place to the 2700s. I wanted it to be far enough into the future so that whatever sci-fi piece of tech in the book could seem possible if it was a human creation or an alien creation. I also made it so far into the future so that the series could be its own entity and not feel compelled to write something in relation to current events that seem impactful on the future. If you have read Dawn of the Seekers, you’ll know there was a fair share of events talked about during the lore chapter that would be more prominent.
The unfinished first draft and the finished book share a similarity that first contact between humanity and an alien race was a peaceful encounter. A lot of times in science-fiction this is usually not the case either due to human nature or the aliens being an aggressive species. With the pillars of the United Celestial Alliance being exploration, advancement, and peace, I did not want first contact to be a bad one. Another similarity is that humanity is the powerhouse of the galaxy. Again, often times in science-fiction humanity is seen as the weakest species or not the most technologically advanced. I wanted to change that with the Celestial Saga with humanity being the ones to lead the galaxy.
Some changes from the prologue of the unfinished first draft to the book are that the United Celestial Alliance was formed when humanity began to work together with alien species instead of how in the finished book it was formed when humanity came together to defeat the evil AI, Nero. William Devroe remained a character as well as a ship named the Washington. Except in the finished book, William Devroe is a Fleet Admiral in command of the UCA Seventh Fleet and is the commanding officer of the UCA Gridlock. The Washington is a ship in the Seventh Fleet that makes a few appearances throughout the book.
- Section 4: The story of the first draft -
The first two chapters following the prologue of the unfinished first draft are ultimately what I deemed to be too dark for the introduction of a series. As I had mentioned, some of the events that take place during these chapters are used in the beginning of book two in the Celestial Saga. I will talk more about those events after the second book is released.
One thing that will not be carried over is that Ethan, the leader of Nova Team, interreacted with a panel in a vault on a planet that read his biological signatures. These signatures were then sent to the Leoan ship. The Leoan ship registered that humanity had interacted with the panel and neurologically taught Julal Tuquay all about humanity such as language and history. The Kaltari had also interacted with this panel and Julal learned all about the Kaltari that way as well.
Unlike the finished book, the Leoan were introduced almost immediately into the story of the unfinished first draft instead of halfway through like in the book. There were also only two Leoan survivors, Julal Tuquay and Bala Vitorin, unlike in the book where there was a small group. Julal had arrived in the Milky Way when humanity was first landing on the moon and had been asleep in cryo ever since. He also had two floating robots similar to the ones that Kryptonians had in Man of Steel. When Ethan had interacted with the panel this woke Julal up from his cryo sleep where he sent a distress call. The problem was this distress call was picked up not only by the UCA, but also the Kaltari.
The Kaltari ended up boarding Julal’s ship, Nova Team fended them off, and Julal took them to the planet where Ethan had interacted with the panel. Julal had told Nova Team that there was a bomb in the vault that he needed to retrieve. Now I don’t recall exactly why the bomb was important since it was a scraped idea from nearly ten years ago, so my guess here is that it was a bomb capable of destroying a planet.
When Nova Team and Julal arrived at this planet, they found Bala Vitorin waiting for them and that he had already claimed the bomb. Just like in the completed book, Bala Vitorin betrayed the Leoan. Now this is where the biggest surprise to me came from reading the first draft to write this entry. The surprise is that I made the Seekers the bad guys!
In the finished book, the Conclave is the conglomerate of aliens that go galaxy to galaxy conquering and destroying. In the unfinished first draft, I had that role filled by the Seekers and taking it one step further, they were essentially the Muerte as was mentioned in Dawn of the Seekers. This was quite a shock to me when I read this as I had not remembered this being how I originally imagined it. I for one, am so glad that I made the Leoan the Seekers who came to the Milky Way to seek out the Arashi vaults.
Two things remained from the unfinished first draft in that the character of Carter Jensen, who is the leader of Hades Team, is still a jerk. I wanted him to be a character who you probably disliked at first, saw how the events of the story changed him, and ended up rooting for him by the end of the story. My favorite thing from reading the first draft is that I included the joke about elevator music. Nowadays you don’t really find elevators that play music anymore, but if you’re old enough, I’m sure you remember elevator music from back in the day. You wouldn’t think that a technologically advanced alien species would have music playing in their elevators, but it was a funny thing I wanted to add to the story. In the unfinished first draft music played in an elevator on Julal’s ship while in the finished book, music plays in an elevator at the Arashi tower.
Looking back at the unfinished first draft, while similarities are still there, there were some drastic changes to the story. All of which I think were for the better and made for a more enjoyable read.
- Section 5: Other changes -
There were some other changes, one concerning the character of Jennifer Anderson. Just like in the finished book, she did not start by being with Nova Team and was an officer on the bridge of the Ever Star. In the unfinished first draft she was a communications officer while in the book I made her a navigation specialist while also specializing in mental health. I thought that making her a communications officer was too similar to Lieutenant Uhura from Star Trek, so I wanted to give her a navigation role which is an important role for any starship to have. Mental health is also an important topic to me personally, so I wanted to have a character specialize in that aspect as well.
There were some name changes such as Jamie Harper originally started as James Mitchell and Jarick who originally did not have a last name became Jarick Udanta in the finished story. The Haron species also underwent a name change as I originally called them the Hivalti, but that sounded too similar to a type of cheese to me. The funniest name change to me involved the character of Derrick Matthews of Hades Team. Originally the character was named David Mathieson, and I renamed the character to David Matthews. When I would write this character’s name, I kept having a feeling in the back of my mind that something seemed so familiar about the name, but I couldn’t quite place it. It was a feeling that while the name David Matthews was a good name, it probably should not be used. I then put it together when I remembered the Dave Matthews Band, the character became as he is known today, Derrick Matthews.
Another change concerned the ranks of the United Celestial Alliance miliary. These ranks underwent the most changes of all the aspects of the story. I originally had them as a blend between Army, Navy, and Marine ranks, but ended up solely adopting Navy ranks in the end with a few changes to naming.
That will wrap things up for this first entry. I started the second draft, which I call the completed script, on the day I cancelled the first draft which was December 20, 2015. The completed script is what went on to become the finished book of Celestial Saga: Dawn of the Seekers. I will explore the changes from the finished script to the finished book in the entries of Crafting the Celestial Saga over the coming weeks. The next entry will be about chapter one from the book, the Battle over Yulon.
As a fun fact to close this entry, I want to give you the origin of the series’ name, Celestial Saga. I am terrible at naming things so for a very long time, the series had no name. I was thinking about titles like Star Wars and Star Trek and knew I couldn’t use the word star in the name. However, I thought of the word celestial! Celestial is space related and is not specifically related to a star. I also thought of how Star Wars is the Star Wars Saga. So, I put the two words together and the Celestial Saga was born!
I hope you enjoyed this first entry, and I hope you will return for the entries that follow. If you have any questions, please feel free to use my website’s contact form and I will address them in a future entry.